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Respect is rarely lost in one dramatic moment… |
Usually, it leaks out like air from a deflating balloon through small behaviors we may not even notice. |
These things often seem harmless in isolation, but they subtly change the way people perceive you. |
Here are six I’ve noticed: |
1. Explaining yourself too much. |
A clear explanation is useful, but a five-minute defense of every decision you make usually communicates uncertainty in why you made it in the first place. |
Say what needs to be said. Then let it stand. |
2. Changing your opinion the moment someone pushes back. |
Yes, being open-minded is a strength, and we should all seek new and better information to ensure we form evidence-based opinions, but abandoning your position because someone disagrees with you is something else entirely. |
You can listen without immediately surrendering your judgment. |
In fact, if you’ve formed your opinion through diligence and intention, you’ll be even more sure about it during conversation, not less. |
3. Trying too hard to be liked. |
People can feel when you’re seeking their approval. |
Ironically, the harder you work to make everyone comfortable with you, the less it actually happens. |
Of course, being liked matters… |
But so does having a spine. |
4. Filling every silence. |
Silence makes most people uncomfortable, which is precisely why being comfortable with it creates such a different impression. |
You don't need to rush in and rescue every conversation from itself. Give it room to breathe. |
5. Talking about your importance instead of demonstrating it. |
Titles. Connections. Accomplishments. Who you know… |
I’ve noticed that the more impressive someone genuinely is, the less they usually need to establish it in every interaction. |
Let people discover your value without having to hold a neon sign above your head to prove it. |
6. Allowing other people's lack of preparation to become your emergency. |
Not every text needs an immediate response, not every disagreement requires resolution in this exact moment, not every opportunity requires an instant yes. |
One of the clearest signs of composure is the ability to decide what actually deserves your attention and then allocate it accordingly. |
None of these behaviors makes someone “weak.” |
They're human, and we’ve all done it before, so don’t beat yourself up too badly over it… |
But, repeated often enough, they begin sending signals that might be the exact opposite of what you intended. |
And, that's worth paying attention to… |
Because people are constantly forming impressions about us from the smallest things. |
The question isn't whether they're noticing… |
It's what you're teaching them to notice. |
Your coach, |
- James Michael Sama |
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